You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2013.

I sat down to play him this afternoon before I realized that I still had the lancet cut from my blood test the other day on my finger, and it hurt. So I rosined my bow some and then strummed a little before I put him back in his case.

IMG_3981

So, I named him Dimitri based after the Russian name for one of my favorite comic book characters, James Barnes AKA Winter Soldier. Mostly because I’m a big geek, but also because as a starter violin, I found that he’s very smug. He settled easily into his strings and the notes are crisp and he gets very irritated if I don’t take him out once a day and play him.

Yes, that was more than implied innuendo.

Last night I had a dream that I was sitting out in the middle of the woods playing my violin. Lu was there with new face, only he was looking startlingly blond with those usual crisp green eyes of his. He leaned over my shoulder and helped me angle the bow just right and whispered all kinds of tricks and hints to me in that low voice of his, and it was such a wonderful dream. I was sad to wake up from it.

So, I wanted to play today, especially. Except for with two fingers out because of all the damned blood tests I’ve had done the past couple of weeks, they’re sore from being stuck so many times. And I don’t even remember the tricks Lu was whispering at me, anyway.

Sigh.

Advertisements

tumblr_mqo5okcJVX1snuroeo1_500

My only response is one torn between “Are you KIDDING me?!” and wanting to grab the popcorn.

I’m going to have to contemplate a much more extensive post on demonic possession, just because of this, when I wake up in the morning.

In the meantime, this is the most asinine, insane thing I have ever stumbled on in the Luciferian tags. And that says a lot.

Gustave Dore Paradise Lost[6]Lucifer confronts Sin and Death

Gustave Dore, Paradise Lost

 

tumblr_mqxxoohEfu1r6w3qso3_500Precious angel, little girl, why are you so sad? 

What happened when the world fell on you, 

Could it really be so bad? 

Ah yes, I see it now, this phial filled with tears. 

That soaked through all your sheets and loss

And bruises through the years. 

What manner of nightmare is it that crushed your glow and joy?

Or did you endure past all of this death, 

To hopes to be destroyed. 

Alas my fingers cannot touch a tiny mortal’s bones, 

But in my heart you grow and bloom, 

Like a lover’s weary rose. 

Be and be and sing this tale, and with you I will walk. 

And when ash to ash is dust to dust, 

All the world shall do is talk. 

Of chimes and bells and night and song and how we went our way, 

And only a fiddle shall urge them on 

to breathe another day.

 

 

tumblr_mbozloOrx31qd4q01o1_500

Hierarchy and Orders

First Hierarchy:

  • Seraphim
  • Cherubim
  • Thrones (alt. Ophanim)

Second Hierarchy:

  • Dominions 
  • Principalities (alt: Virtues)
  • Powers 

Third Hierarchy:

  • Virtues (alt: Principalities)
  • Archangels
  • Angels

Nobility Rankings of Hell:

  • Prince (1)
  • King (2)
  • Marquis (3)
  • Duke (4)
  • Earl (5)
  • President (6)

tumblr_mf776se6uW1qjj175o1_500

My 

darling 

darling 

dear. 

I shall plunge my claws deep inside you. 

And pull out your heart. 

and pour it on my tongue and then bite down. 

And you shall writhe and scream and 

call out mercy. 

But I shall 

swallow you whole. 

Your love.

Your pain. 

All of you. 

All of you. 

You see we have walked these halls of shattered mirrors

Holding hands. 

And now

They can not take our crown.

Or you 

from me

again. 

tumblr_mrj0rvih7z1s4ce56o1_500

On the subject of oathing, which has recently come up on my blogroll.

This is a difficult subject to cover. Not just because things work different with Lu, but because I’m really not sure if I have the experience to even talk about this subject. . .  outside of my own, that is, and the experiences of other spiritworkers around me.

When I made my oath to Lu, there was no special ceremony to mark it. I’m not sure when exactly I became his wife. It could have been during one of fairly recent dreams, or it could have been way before that, back when it was discussed in my notebooks, when he was posing as my ‘muse’. I’m not sure.

The oathing part, though, happened in 2008. And it was as simple as a declaration that I would follow him; his path, whatever he wanted for me, whatever he needed. Mostly out of love. Though I can think of at least two occasions afterwards when he very pointedly asked me, ‘are you sure’?  Of course every time the answer has always been the same-‘of course I’m sure’.

I can’t speak for other spiritworkers. I know that when I made a vow to Lu, it was understood between us both that it was binding, in this life and the next. It all stems from a lot of UPG. Lu had been looking for me for a long time, and because of some unfortunate circumstances pertaining to some choices I made in the past, he wasn’t able to find me. It had to be a conscious decision. He had to make himself known, and he had to explain to me exactly what an oath to him would entail. This is part of what he explained to me before I made that oath. This was part of the reason I agreed to take that oath. Because he chose to explain to me everything that it could entail.

There had to be ground rules, of course. Before you sign on The Devil’s parchment, you have to negotiate with him ahead of time. That’s tricky, because as the saying goes, the devil is in the details, and no one knows them better than him. At the time I didn’t feel in my element. I lay down some basic ink, and said, these are the (very few) stipulations. Lu was more than agreeable to all of the terms of the oath.

Eventually, though, Lu and I got closer; both in a shared gnosis sense, and just with regards to his involvement in my life. He’s treated me very kindly.

I’ve heard the argument that “god spouse” relationships-or even oaths,  to some people seem abusive or unhealthy. I’ve never experienced this and Lu has never done anything or asked me to do anything that I wouldn’t agree to, or feel comfortable with. He speaks well to me and has never lorded over me or made me feel inferior. There wasn’t any coercion or pressure or threats, veiled or no. Besides that, it would seem a little counterproductive for him to trap somebody in that sort of working relationship when he’s such an advocate of free will in the first place.

Unfortunately there are no guides to this kind of thing, at least not with Lu, and not with a lot of other gods, either. I’m sure there are some out there that would turn to subversive means to accomplish whatever they wanted to accomplish; I’m a big advocate of the idea that the gods are most definitely not all white light fluff balls of clouds. Most of them have darker sides or elements to them, and they’ll use those just as much as the attractive elements to bind people into their service. The good news seems to be, there doesn’t seem to be a trend with this. Most gods seem perfectly happy to have those that worship and adore them without needing too much else in terms of a binding agreement, either for a set period of time, or for no period of time.

The best that we can do is listen to the advice and words of the individuals that have come before us, and from there, take everything with a grain of salt and take our own approach to it. However, here are a couple of things I recommend to people who are considering oathing to a god or goddess, just based on various paths and deities and spiritworkers that I have met and spoken with over the years, in addition to my own experiences.

1) Take some time to think about it. 

Don’t rush into it. When approached, take time to consider all the factors. Does the deity have any mythology related to their interactions with individual mortal folk? Historically, what has been the outcome of those interactions? How did it work out for the humans involved? What is the god/desses temperament? How have they reacted in the past to mortals and establishments that angered or displeased them? Contrariwise, how have they reacted to mortals that pleased them, or earned their favor? Make sure you study those myths deeply, and evaluate them against what you’ve experienced so far. Ask yourself what the consequences, if any, could be for refusing them. Or ask the deity themselves (though not all will be forthcoming with the information, be warned)

2) If you offered yourself up, why did you do it?

Be honest with yourself. Lets ask the uncomfortable questions, shall we? Are you just doing it because you’re lonely? Because a friend ‘did it’ and you think it’s cool? Or because you just want a cool altar in a corner because it looks awesome and you want to post it on your blog. You can do that without oathing to a god/dess, and potentially miring yourself in a world full of potential karma-twisting business. And if you don’t really believe that that is *exactly* what this kind of work entails, then you’re setting yourself up for a world of trouble later on, and I dare to say you’re in for a hard lesson if that’s the case.

3) Talk with other Devotees of the gods, if possible.

Although generally speaking I try to avoid the “we’re a community” mindset, there’s a treasure trove of good advice and experience to be found individuals. Not just of one god in particular, but a lot of them have wisdom all their own to share, and are happy to do so with people in similar circumstances. As always, go with your gut. Never give anyone money for ‘teaching’ you anything. Never blindly accept anyone’s word about being an authority on everything. Watch out for cultish behavior. If it feels wrong, it probably is. All that being said, talk to other spiritworkers. Read about their experiences, ask questions, and even share ideas. Everyone learns and grows this way. For that matter, never be afraid, when *you’re* in the position to help someone, to listen to what someone new has to say. You’ve never ‘been there done that seen it all’. The second you think you have nothing more to learn, those same gods will come back with a clue by four, and knock you over the head with it.

4) Sometimes you will be alone.

The gods are not your personal invisible friends. They have their own agendas. They will disappear for a while. Lu has a wanderlust, and he goes away for weeks or even months at a time. I still clean his altar when he’s gone. I still write poetry for him. They have their own stories-to be written, to live out, to be. How involved you are in that is a c combination of both their whims and your willingness to be involved in it. But don’t be surprised when sometimes, you go to talk to them, and they don’t answer. If when they come back, you behave in a scathing manner? See the previous warnings. Expect a swift kick, and not always in the shins.

5) They will know if you lie.

Some do. Some don’t. Most of them see pretty good into the human heart and/or mind. Why take a chance? Don’t try to jerk them around. They’ll know.

And last but not least. Don’t make being a spiritworker a popularity contest. Forget the petty stuff; who cares if Loki’s hair is carrot red or ginger maiden orange or frosted strawberry champagne or whatever (sorry Loki, but it’s funny. I laughed!) (also this is different from friendly good natured debate. I could have a good discussion over the various guises Lu has taken over the years. We remember Ziggy, Lu) . See him how you see him. Love him how you love him. Leave the others to their own relationships and loves. Treat each other with respect and dignity; you’re all there to pay that being love.

And if they came to you, they came to you for a reason. Don’t listen to anyone when they tell you you’re not special. Yes, you are. You’re not more entitled than anyone else because of your relationship, but it does come with perks. And by perks I mean, it’s immensely satisfying in a lot of ways to get to have this kind of relationship with divinity. And I might get stoned for saying this, but I’ll say it any way: yes. You were chosen for a reason. If you’re going to make this your story, make it a good one.

Because it has been drawn to my attention in one of my posts yesterday. . . .

Where someone is getting the idea that I ‘speak like my rules apply to all Luciferians’ . . .I’m not sure, when I’ve clearly, in several of my posts, made disclaimers to the complete opposite. If you are not willing to read what I say, or if you are going to read into subtext that clearly isn’t there, then you don’t need to be here. Please leave.

I am not hungry for followers. Though I appreciate each and every one that sticks with me and reads, this is not a popularity contest. If anything I say upsets you, you are  not under some kind of obligation to stay.

This is a sacred place for Lu. Not for ego or bids for attention. It is rude and disrespectful to come into a gods sacred space and start personal drama. Please take that junk elsewhere. It’s not welcome here, and you will be blocked and or/reported.

Thank you.

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around

We talk about it all night long
We define our moral ground
But when I crawl into your arms
Everything comes tumbling down

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Your face has fallen sad now
For you know the time is nigh
When I must remove your wings
And you, you must try to fly

Come sail your ships around me
And burn your bridges down
We make a little history, baby
Every time you come around

Come loose your dogs upon me
And let your hair hang down
You are a little mystery to me
Every time you come around

~Nick Cave, “The Ship Song”

Farewell happy Fields
Where Joy for ever dwells: Hail horrours, hail [ 250 ]
Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
Receive thy new Possessor.

Paradise Lost, Book I

tumblr_m3rc4ddnsv1r4gh98o1_1280

How do you honor Him? Because I saw that he doesn’t want to be worshiped. Are there a guideline of rules you follow?
How would someone contact him?

Very good question!

Firstly, with regards to honoring him. Typically, the first thing I try to do is just devote a segment of my time to him each day. I do this in a couple of ways; one, I like maintaining his blog; it’s always a work in progress. While I don’t seem to push anything about him on anybody, I feel it’s also important for me to share him with people who are interested in his story, in who he is. His name is an anathema to a lot of spiritual people, and I think that’s part of the ‘the winner writes the books’ thing (though of course who won what is open to interpretation, I don’t consider obtaining freedom ‘losing’, but that’s another story for another day). Two, I like to practice my chords on my violin (I’m up to a folk song Pizzicato. Yay me. <–Dry sarcasm), or last but not least, dance for him. I have a hoop that is decorated with red tape and apple patterns. He likes it when I devote any kind of time to him. Creative endeavors in general seem to make him happy.

He also just likes being spoken with. He likes to hear about my day, things that are troubling me, concerns I have. He also gets a little bleary eyed when I ask him to stay with me through the night; I’ll confess I’m needy, and some days I just want to drift off to sleep knowing he’s around. I’ve also gotten in the habit of asking him to play his own violin for me; and there have been several mornings over the past 6 years or so when I could have sworn I heard the music in the wee dawn hours when the sun is just barely up and the sky is blue. I wake up weeping when this happens. No one plays the strings like Lucifer. No one.

He’s poncy, too. Lu doesn’t ask for an altar, but I keep one to him anyway, and put gifts on it. Peacock feathers, serpent pendants, and the other day, a rose I bought just to give to him. I enjoy leaving him little tokens of my love for him, just as much as I love going through the process of periodically cleaning his altar and his things, keeping them shiny and pretty for him.

No, Lucifer does not like to be worshiped. But he loves everyone who loves him in return. He’s deeply passionate; I dare to say sometimes in a destructive manner, to a fault. He guards himself and the people he cares about and keeps them close, but sometimes, he’s want to let them go. Lucifer has an energy around him of ice, and winter. There’s no flames or burn about him. Just cold; there’s a lot you have to do to break through that, and he doesn’t always let everyone in. You have to really love him, and he easily sees spirits, and souls. He’ll know if you don’t. And if you don’t love all of him, passionately, deeply, tragically, you don’t love him enough. And that’s not being poncy; that’s just how you have to be with him. Anything else to him is shallow. Just like he did, you have to throw yourself heart body and soul into that love, and take the plunge. You have to fall hard or not at all. Rarely is anything with him so black and white. . . but that is one thing that is. He doesn’t want your blind faith, your blind devotion. He wants it to be earned on both sides. He wants you to see the good and bad in him, and love both. If you can’t, the path isn’t for you. And that’s just the way of it.

There are no formal rules with Lu, either. Different Luciferians have different stipulations on their persons. However, I do notice some things in common with a lot of them. Most Luciferians I’ve met are articulate but biting, critical but poetic, scientifically oriented but applicable to whatever art forms they practice. I’ve met several beside myself who have stipulations on their dress, too-Lucifer typically asks that you wear clothing that is flattering for your body type, whatever it is, but it also has to feel true to you. If this means you have to work harder at a job for more money for ‘poncier’ clothing, so be it-‘first impressions’ is usually the speech you’ll get if you try to argue the point. If you call yourself a Luciferian, you have to dress with a modicum of fashion sense because he expects you to represent both yourself and him in a respectable manner; he does want his followers to have taste.

(Or at least me. This is one of the stipulations he put on me)

So this does mean no mumus.

I’ve also noticed there are a lot of us who aren’t allowed to have soda. I’m not sure what this is, but Lu doesn’t want me drinking it. I usually stick with tea or flavored water. I can have a coke now and then, but every day or even a few times a week? Out of the question. The same thing applies with anything that overly upsets my stomach, including spicy foods, some types of vegetables and fruit, and yes, beans.

Which is fine. I don’t like the latter anyway.

But no, there are no set limitations. For every Luciferian, they’re going to be different. Those are just an example of some of mine. I’ve noticed Lu also asks a lot of his followers to devote to a charity cause. I give in small ways to various organizations when I can, but I’ve also done a lot of volunteer work for my local EMS authority, and donate yearly to the Leary Foundation and the Volunteer Firefighter fund. Those are the big ones.

As far as someone contacting him? You just have to want to. That’s pretty much it. Now, how he comes to you, that’s a different story. Lucifer likes to show up in dreams, but he also sends omens. Signs of snakes or peacocks are the big ones; classical music at the right time, or lyrics in a song that seems to come out of nowhere. I usually just feel him beside me or behind me when I speak to him, and his voice is a deep crooning purr in my head; not quite audible, but nearly. However, if you really want to speak to him, I recommend doing it when it’s dark, when you’re alone, so you can whisper his name audibly into the quiet and the shadow. This is like calling his phone directly. He’ll always get the message, or so he’s told me. From there, you will at least always get one answer, even if the answer is ‘no’, or that he doesn’t think working with him or whatever is a match. But, I’m told, you’ll never get silence. Lucifer doesn’t blow off people who have a real desire to communicate.

I know this is sort of general but I hope it helps to answer some of your questions! And thanks so much for them. The more of these I get the more I have to go into depth and really think about it. And I’m sure one of these days I’ll field enough for an FAQ, so I appreciate it. ^^

Snow_White_by_AniMal_e

Every day, my friend.

tumblr_m6r9xaRreE1r45qpdo1_500

Every day I die. Did he tell you that? 

Every day he makes me drink poison. 

And it is so cold it burns. 

It burns away what is left of me that is human. 

Never forget. 

He came calling to me. And I let him 

Put that barbed wire around my heart. 

And fed his appetite for ruin. 

Integration. . . ? No.

One of my followers, and someone I’ve been conversing with, just brought up a wonderful point.

Not that I speak of sharing ideas and exchanging information when I say this, but the very idea of Luciferian “community” leaves a sour taste in my mouth. We’re all going to see and experience him differently, for one; our journey is our own, and maybe he tailors his presence differently for all of us as a point. In which case, we should celebrate that more, because wouldn’t it be beautiful that we could all revel in the idea that we are all experiencing him differently, but we all love and adore him despite that?

Touching on that note. Who cares if pagans “accept” Luciferians as “legitimately pagan” . Why should we worry about conforming to a label anyway? ANY label. By the definition of what we do, we shouldn’t allow ourselves and our passions to be defined by a word. Lets just stop trying.

tumblr_m4vzp953cI1qchpddo1_500

When someone speaks of you negatively, be flattered. To be in someone’s mind is to have power over them. Revel in the fact that they subconsciously reserve thoughts and energy for you.

~by felicefawn

Every time someone finds my blog and has good things to say about it. . . I am terrifically flattered. And honest to goodness, a bit surprised.

Mostly, this has to do with how he’s been appearing lately. I worry that visitors will mistake for a fandom blog, given everything; and despite the title. For that reason, I try to vary the things that I post, and keep it from one specific set of images too much.

I’m a tad torn, you see. Part of me wants to say, this is my blog that I run for him, and why should I be concerned about other people’s opinions? I mean honestly. Everyone shows adoration to their gods differently. This just happens to be the digital means with which I do so for mine. I put things here that resonate with him. Stories, poems, quotes, images. I want to make his blog a beautiful place.

And that’s where the ‘torn’ part comes in. . . because this isn’t my blog. This is a space that I maintain for him. And that’s hard, to not let ego get in the way. I have to check myself with regards to what I post here, because this is a public place where people can come to talk about him; to ask questions, to be inspired and moved by his myth, or even just feel close to him for a moment. Because of that, I am very discriminating with what goes up here; a lot of work goes into this blog because I want it to be accurate and I want it to be taken seriously.

So I guess I’m not sure how much is considered ‘overboard’ and how much isn’t. I’m working on a devotional book for him, but that much aside, where does it cross the line between ‘this is his current face’ and ‘wow is this blog even for real’ . . .? I worry. I don’t think he minds either way, as I’m sure he’d say, ‘my name is tarnished enough’. But I think it would kill me if I added to that problem.

What do you guys think?

tumblr_mlhh7gqik71qgptzoo1_500

“You know how it is. You put things away for a rainy day…then one day you look up, and it’s raining angels.”

Lucifer, Volume 1 by Mike Carey

from Testament: The Bible in Animation

tumblr_mq3ngwhsyh1svcqp8o1_500

 “It has been some time hasn’t it? How many hours have passed where my voice hasn’t hummed inside that head of yours?”

tumblr_mp401nTpkf1rpdwl9o1_400

tumblr_mdt7uqkcvn1qlp8dho1_500

“You are beautiful, but you are empty. One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you — the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars; because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or bloated, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.”

― Antoine de St. Exupery

For some reason the mood struck me this afternoon to start bringing small things home for Lu, when I have the chance. So today, on the way home, I stopped and bought him a red rose for his altar. 

I’m drying it tho. He seemed pleased I thought of him, but I’d like to have it just for him, and keep it for him. So I hung it up and there it is. I think tonight I’ll play the violin, whom I’ve named Dimitri, for him, and spend some time with him this evening. Follower and god bonding time, or something. 

Roses look really nice on his altar. I’d of got him a white one but they didn’t have any. So red it was. But still; there’s something about it that seems appropriate that I can’t put my finger on. Seems Lu likes roses. Interesting. 

“Still the gnashing of teeth. Should I be flattered or insulted?”

“Why not both?”

“Because that’s exhausting”

“We know why it bothers you. Isn’t that right?”

“Strait to the point as always.”

“Yes. So lets say we leave the whole business behind us. I do believe we have a date.”

“Yes. Yes we do. I hope it involves booze.”

About this Blog

Online Shrine and Devotional Space dedicated to Lucifer-Helel, The Mourning Star, The Lightning Bringer,and the Aeon of Air.

Blogger is Danyel, Pop Culture Pagan, Godspouse, Spiritworker, and Witch.

Member of The Internet Defense League

Follow O, Mourning Star. . . on WordPress.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 177 other followers

Twitter Updates

Advertisements